I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
