the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
