sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
