You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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