all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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