Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize