Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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