Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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