I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
