I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
