Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
