Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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