I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
