3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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