Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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