can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
