yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
