I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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