my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
