i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i now understand why vodka
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
