if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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