saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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