Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
