I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Michael Bay diarrhea
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
