Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
