No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
