"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
