quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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