and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
