girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
