I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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