I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
