I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Randomize
