thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
