so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
