i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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