You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
