Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
