***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize