We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
