yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
