Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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