it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
