Fuck appropriateness.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
