I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
