whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
