Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
