let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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