those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
