Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
