i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
