apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
