he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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