Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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