i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
