Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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