you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
third nipple confirmed
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
