I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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